When I look to the sky
by HarrylovedGinnysincebook2
Summary: Oneshot Song fic. Harry and his daughter through the years after the death of Ginny.


When it rains it pours, and opens doors

That flood the floors we thought would always

Keep us safe and dry

_It wasn't supposed to happen this way, _He thought, tears cascading down his face. _It was supposed to be over._ Yet the destroyed remains of a once beautiful living room told a completely different story. The people around him were sifting through it, hoping to find some kind of clue as to who was behind this.

"At least you had Abigale with you," One of his best friends managed to croak, stroking the tiny baby's hair as she lay asleep in her father's arms, totally oblivious to the drama unfolding before her.

"Why," his other best friend asked, his face a ghostly white. "You defeated him, why are they still trying to get to you?"

Harry just shook his head and held his only link to his love closer to him. She whimpered slightly in her sleep, seemingly understanding what was happening. "Why her?" He whispered to himself. "Why did it have to be my Ginny?

And in the midst of sailing ships

We sink our lips into the ones we love

That have to say goodbye

"God bless her soul," The preacher concluded. Everyone stood up and began to file out, prepared to go to the cemetery for the actual burial. "Mr. Potter," The preacher with a slightly sunken face to turn around. "Would you like to close the casket?" He asked in a quiet voice, not wanting to attract unnecessary attention for the young man's sake.

Harry slowly walked slowly to the casket and looked in. As he gazed at her face, time stopped. He took in how her famous red hair fell gracefully around her shoulders and how her red lips seemed to be smiling, even in death. She looked so alive that, for a moment, he expected her to start breathing at any moment, but he knew it to simply be a false hope.

He put his hand on the casket top, preparing to close it, but found he could not. Closing that meant ending this dream like state. By simply shutting it he would be brutally thrown into reality, unable to return to his fanciful world of it all being a cruel joke.

He heard a whimper though and looked back. There was Abby, holding her arms out to him as Hermione held tightly onto her. He knew what he had to do. He had to accept this and move one. Not just for his own sake but for the sake of his daughter as well. She needed him. No, they needed each other.

With that he looked at his love one last time, before jolting himself from his dream.

_And as I float along this ocean_

_I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go_

"Are you sure?" Hermione asked once again as she pulled on her coat. "I know it's going to be hard being by yourself. Ron can live without me a little longer."

Harry smiled and said, "You've already been here 3 weeks Hermione, I can hardly ask for you to stay any longer.

"You're not asking, I'm offering," She pointed out, proving to be just as stubborn as ever.

"Look Hermione, you're married and four months pregnant. You need to be home with Ron." When she looked as if she was going to say something else he continued. "You two are my best friends, I know that if I need anything, I can just ask."

Apparently, she wasn't going down easy. "Being a single father is going to be hard…"

"If I didn't know better, I would think you just wanted to stay because you've gotten so attached to Abby," Harry mused with a smirk, shifting his daughter to his other side.

"Well she is just the most precious thing I've ever seen," Hermione cooed at her, making all sorts of odd faces to try in make her smile. It really had more of an effect on Harry, who burst out laughing at the way she was contorting her face. His laughter seemed to assure her that he was really going to be okay. She pulled him into a one armed hug, her long and now tame hair tickling his nose. "I'll come by later and see how things are going," Harry didn't bother trying to talk her out of it. She then apparated off to her job at the ministry of magic.

Harry sighed in relief when she was gone. Not that he hadn't valued her help, he didn't know how he would have gotten through those first two weeks without her. It was just that he was about to go crazy with all the changes, like how Hermione made breakfast and dinner everyday. Ginny wouldn't have stood for that, she hated cooking: her mother forcing her into it brought it on. Most often they would go out to eat, or she would entertain herself by watching her husband struggle through preparing a meal.

He walked upstairs and entered the bathroom. Her makeup was still out on the counter, completely untouched. Ron and Hermione had tried to convince him to put it away but he had refuse. He liked to remember her by simply walking into the bathroom or looking in the closet and seeing her clothes neatly lined up nest to his. He knew he would have to put it away eventually, but for now, he was going to hold on to her as best he could.

_Cause when I look to the sky_

_Something tells me that you're here with me_

_And you make everything all right_

"…Happy birthday to you!" They finished, cheering loudly for the small girl as she plunged hands and face into the cake.

"I can't believe she's one already," And aging Mrs. Weasley mused, watching her granddaughter lovingly. Harry nodded in agreement, finding it hard to believe that just a year ago he was holding his baby girl for the first time. Ginny had never been happier; the look in her face when she first saw her was etched in Harry's mind. As everyone around him began chatting with one another, or in Mrs. Weasley's case obsessing over Abigale's now messy face, Harry snuck outside into the cool fall air.

"I wish you were here Ginny," Harry muttered, sitting in a chair that resided in the garden. He looked to the heavens, finding the act comforting. He then felt a breeze swirl around him, pulling him toward the house. "Still trying to be the boss of me, are you?" He asked with a laugh. He was quick to listen to the apparent sign from his wife though, for he knew her temper. If he ignored it he knew he was likely to be struck by lightening or something of that nature.

_And when I feel like I'm lost_

_Something tells me you're here with me_

_And I can always find my way when you are here_

"It's been three years now, why am I still not over it?" Harry asked Lupin in frustration.

Lupin sat down two steaming hot cups of tea and said, "it's okay to still miss her Harry, you'll probably never full get over it."

"I don't just miss her though. I can never seem to keep her out of my mind for more that two minutes and every night I dream about her!" He exclaimed in frustration.

"Have you put up her things yet," Lupin inquired calmly, taking a sip from his tea.

"No," the young man admitted reluctantly. "I can't though. I can't just get rid of it all, it keeps me connected to her."

"Abby does that too," Remus put in. As if listening, the very girl in question dashed into the kitchen.

"Daddy, daddy!" She cried. "Conner was pulling my hair!" She said, referring to Lupin's four-year-old son.

"Come here sweet heart," Harry said, pulling her onto his lap. It was almost starting to pain him to look at her, for she was a perfect clone of her mother. Except for her eyes, which were, oddly enough, exactly like her father's.

"That's why you can't get her out of her head, you're raising her duplicate!" Lupin joked.

"Yeah, no kidding." Harry agreed. "Maybe she'll be able to get me through this."

This seemed to worry Lupin. "Don't try to make her just like Ginny, Harry," the aging man warned.

"I know," Harry snapped at him. But that was just what he had been thinking. He had already been planning ways to make her turn out just like her mother. Harry tightly embraced his petite daughter and whispered, "I'm sorry Abby."

_And every word I didn't say_

That caught up in some busy day 

_And every dance on the kitchen floor we didn't have before_

_And every sunset that we'll miss_

_I'll wrap them all up in a kiss_

_And pick you up in all of this when I sail away_

And yet, as the years flew by, Harry found that he had to do absolutely nothing for Abigale to turn out just like her mother. Her fiery temper, superb quiditch skills, and hardheaded nature were all fully visible by the age of ten. Much as he hated to, he found that he was distancing himself from her. He let her spend the night at friends' houses more often and let her go on more trips with her Aunts and Uncles. He also noticed how he was volunteering for more work at the Auror's office.

What really worried him was that any time his mind wandered he began to daydream about Ginny, imagining himself dancing with her, talking with her, and laughing with her. In fact, he began to prefer this to any actual interaction. It got to the point of him contemplating committing suicide, just to be with her. He got extremely close once. He was holding a knife in his hand, as it would be hard to fire a spell at himself. Luckily, at that moment, Abby had called out for him. He slowly sat down the knife, not taking his eyes off it. "Just a few more years Ginny," He decided, instead placing the knife in the drawer. He composed himself quickly and put on an extremely fake smile before answering his daughter's call.

While I float upon the ocean 

_I can feel you like a notion that won't seem to let me go_

Harry sat at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in one hand, a letter from Hogwarts in the other. He read it over again, his heart heavy and mind full of confusion

Dear Mr. Potter 

_Your child, Abigale Rose Potter, has elected to stay at Hogwarts over the winter break. If you would like your child to come home please send a return letter and she will be instructed to board the train. Thank you and happy Holidays. _

_Sincerely,_

_Ritchie Coote, Head of Gryffindor House_

He sat the letter down. He didn't understand why she was doing this. The past three years she had come home for every holiday. He couldn't grasp her reasoning.

He stood up and walked to his bedroom, hoping that an eased mind might give him a better thought process. Instead he tossed and turned for hours. Finally he got up. Something was telling him to go see Abby. He was all set to go by 4:30 A.M., at which time he apparated to Hogsmeade. That brought back a flood of memories. This was were he had proposed to Ginny. He then turned his eyes to the castle that was visible in the distance. That was where he and Ginny were officially bonded as man and wife. He began the walk there, figuring that he could hand around in Tonks's office until Abby was at breakfast.

He knocked on her door and hour later, having taken his time getting there. "Harry?" An extremely groggy Tonks questioned when she opened the door.

"I'm sorry to bother you. I just really need to talk to Abby and as I couldn't sleep at all I decided to get an early start. Do you mind if I stay in your office until I can expect her at breakfast?" He rambled quickly.

"Not at all," She answered, the confusion evident on her face. She continued to stare at him as she sat behind her desk and he in front.

Her questioning eyes caused him to say, "I'd rather not talk about it." She nodded her head in understanding, directing the conversation instead to her own children, Krissie, Raven, Phillip, and Conner.

At around eight, Harry stood up. "I suppose she'll be there by now. Thanks for keeping me company."

"No problem," She responded easily. Harry then nodded to her and began to walk to the great hall. He smiled to himself as tiny students that passed him whispered to one another and gave him second look. "Just like old times," he muttered to himself.

When he entered the Great Hall, he automatically found the Gryffindor table. It didn't take him long to spot her, her bright red hair was like a lighthouse, although there were several red heads there now. What he most noticed was how she threw back her head and laughed. One of the many people around her whispered in her ear, causing her to turn around and se her father in the entrance to the great hall. Her friends all stared at her; everyone stared at her in fact. This didn't intimidate Abby at all, if anything it empowered her. She looked regal as she walked to him. "Come on," he said, leading her to the grounds. "You seem popular," Harry said off handedly, a sad attempt to break the silence.

"It comes with having met the man who defeated Voldermort I guess," She mused, sitting down upon the cold hard steps.

"It probably helps that he's your dad," Harry said with a feeble laugh, sitting next to her.

"But he's not," she said, looking into his eyes. "The man I've heard so much about no longer exists. The man everyone tells me was charming, brave, witty, smart, and daring, isn't my father. My father is timid, secretive, quite, and wouldn't take a risk if his life depended on it. So maybe 'the-boy-who-lived' used to be my dad, but he isn't anymore."

Harry was silent, shocked by her confession. "Abigale-"

"It's okay," She said quickly. "I've learned to be all right with it. Besides, I know why you're like this. Aunt Hermione told me you've been this way since my mother died. She must have been some women," Abby said in thought, standing up. "I mean, you've been grieving for fourteen years now. And that's why you've distanced yourself from me. I mean, it seems someone tells me at least once a day how much I'm like my mother. I must remind you of her. So in answer to your question, I'm not coming home for Christmas because I don't want to remind you of her anymore than I have to," With that she turned and walked back into the castle, leaving her father behind.

Harry put his head in his hands. "I didn't want to lose Ginny so much that now I'm losing Abby," He whispered to himself. And for the first time in nearly fourteen years he let his emotions control. He broke down and cried, not caring who was watching.

_Cause when I look to the sky_

_Something tell me that you're here with me _

_And you make everything all right_

_When I feel like I'm lost_

Something tells me that you're here with me 

_And I can always find my way_

Harry could hardly think the rest of the day. His boss had actually told him to go home on account of him being barely able to speak. It was a huge relief to him mind that night when he drifted off to sleep.

Someone else was not ready for his mind to rest quite yet, however. True, he was asleep, but he had a visitor in his dreams.

"Hello Harry," Ginny said, her voice thin and eyes sad.

"Not again! Please leave, I can't keep seeing you every time I close my eyes!" Harry begged of her, for once not elated to see her.

"This isn't a normal dream dear. It's really me," She explained, walking towards him. Every step she took turned the bleak white room into more of a beautiful meadow.

Something about her unusual solemnity and misery in her eyes made him believe her. "Why are you real this time though?"

"Because I thought that if I appeared so soon after I passed that you would become dependent on seeing me and would never be able to move on. I was so proud of you those first few years, you managed to keep yourself together for the sake of our daughter. I don't know what happened though. All of a sudden you started digressing, drawing yourself away from everyone, especially Abigale."

"I don't know why I did it either," Harry admitted.

Ginny grabbed his hands and held them. "That's why I'm here, because you truly need me now. I have to tell you some things. Like even though Abby acts like she doesn't need you she does. She cries herself to sleep, even when she's not here Harry! You have to realize that she's not me Harry; she's a totally different person. People may say she's exactly like me but when it some to things on the inside she's exactly like you. She keeps everything bottled up and one day it's going to get to her. You need to talk to her and make her realize that you really do love her before it's to late!" Ginny now looked more miserable than ever.

"Don't worry Ginny, I will," Harry assured her. He then embraced her and said into her hair, "God I've missed you Ginny."

"And I you," She responded, nuzzling her face into his neck. "I can't wait you're here with me." She then quickly stood back and looked him straight in the eye. "But I don't expect you here for at least another sixty years or so." She said sternly.

Harry smiled at her, his eyes brimming with tears. "I love you Gin," He said passionately before giving her one last kiss.

That's when he woke up to sunlight streaming through the window and the birds chirping merrily. He quickly ran down to the kitchen and grabbed a piece of paper. He jolted down '_I plan to take off the next two weeks. I send my sincerest apologies for any inconvenience. Sincerely, Harry J. Potter'_ He then tied the letter to the now aging Hedwig and said, "To the Ministry!"

_Whether I am up or down or in or out_

_Or just plain overhead_

_Instead it feels like it's impossible to fly_

_But with you I can spread my wings_

_To see me over everything_

_That life may send me when I'm hoping it won't pass me by_

"I need Abigale Potter," Announced Harry to the fourth year Transfiguration class.

"Dad?" Abby asked in pure shock from her seat in the back.

"Of course Mr. Potter," The teacher said, a man Harry vaguely recognized as a Ravenclaw that had been a year or two ahead of him.

Abby slowly made her way to the hallway where her extremely giddy looking father waited. "Look dad, if you really want me to come home for Christmas I will." She said, guessing what this was about.

Harry shook his head in amusement. "Relax Honey. You and your mother, I swear. She had to know exactly what was going on at every moment as well. Look, we're going to go on a trip."

"A trip where?" She asked slowly, walking with her father through the many corridors.

"Everywhere! We're going to travel all over the world! Christmas in Paris, New year's eve in New York!" Harry rambled excitedly. "And along the way, I'll get you a new outfit everyday, anything you like in fact!"

Abby stopped, looking skeptical. "Are you bipolar?" She asked quite seriously.

He knelt down in front of her to easily look at her face. "I didn't realize how selfish I was being Abby. God, I feel horrible! What you said really opened my eyes. And then last night, and I know you're going to think I'm crazy, I saw your mother. She helped me to see exactly what you were going through."

"So you're doing this because some dream version of mum told you to," Abby conjectured slowly, backing away from him.

Harry was a little taken aback by the way she said it, he really hadn't meant for her to take it that way. "I'm not doing this because she ordered me to. I'm doing it because I'm finally realizing how much you still need me. And that even against what everyone says, you're a lot like me. You like to bottle up everything and you have a thing for playing hero. I know that during my fifth year I felt as if I had no one to connect with and I never want you to have to go through that kind of pain. I want you to know that I love you more than I've ever loved in my life and that I'm always here for you."

Abby stared at him, apparently shocked by his openness to her. Without warning she burst into tears and threw her arms around him. Harry stroked her hair as she continued to sob grateful and exuberant tears. "This is the way it's supposed to be," Harry whispered to himself.

_When I feel like there is no one_

_That will ever know me_

_There you are to show me_

"So how was your trip?" Hermione asked excitedly when they sat down at her kitchen table.

"Amazing!" Abby exclaimed. "Dad and I went everywhere it seems!"

"I'm glad you two had such a great time," Ron put in, joining them at the table.

"I'm going to go tell Laurel about it, is that alright dad?" She asked excitedly.

"Go ahead sweetheart," Harry responded, enabling her to dash up the stairs and into the bedroom of the oldest Weasley child.

Hermione was, of course, the first to comment. "The difference in amazing Harry! I hardly feel as if I know either one of you!"

"I know," Harry said. "I thought it'd be hard to be around her that much but I found myself telling her stories about me and Ginny from Hogwarts and about our proposal and such. It was weird, I felt like I could really open up to her. I'm not afraid of her like I used to be," Harry explained, having trouble finding the right words to describe it.

"It's great that you two have finally found a balance," Ron said.

"No, what I think happened," Harry said slowly, "Was that I realized she's not only Ginny's daughter, but mine too."

_When I look to the sky_

_Something tells me that you're here with me_

_And you make everything all right_

And when I feel like I'm lost 

_Something tells that you're here with me _

"Can you believe it Harry?" Remus asked with the widest grin Harry had ever seen on him.

"Not really, no," responded Harry, fidgeting with his suit.

"I mean, who would have guessed that our children would get married?" Lupin was in a frenzy now, shaking everyone's hand vigorously as they entered the church.

"Uncle Harry," A quiet voice from behind him said. He turned around to see Laurel. "Abby wants to see you."

Harry nodded a quick goodbye to Remus and then followed Laurel until they reached her dressing room. Laurel didn't enter with him and she was quick to shut the door behind them, giving them the privacy they needed.

Harry actually felt his breath taken away by how beautiful she looked in her wedding gown. The purest of white that flowed over her and into a train made her look simply stunning. "Oh Abigale," He said quietly. He then saw that she was crying and without hesitation made his way to her. "Honey, what's wrong."

"Nothing dad," She sniffled, rubbing away the tears with the back of her arm. "I'm just so happy. I never thought I'd actually meet someone who I would love more that life itself. And, well…that almost scares me. So I'm overwhelmingly happy, but I'm scared," She gave a feeble attempt at a laugh.

"Abby, I know how you're feeling. I went through the exact same thing on my wedding day. I loved your mother so much, I couldn't imagine not marrying her and yet the thought of marriage was terrifying. Well, maybe that's not the right way to put it. I was more afraid that she didn't love me as much as I loved her and that in time she would leave me for someone better. I just couldn't imagine it possible that she loved me like she said she did and then I thought what am I getting myself into? I'm giving her my heart and she could easily break it." He explained slowly.

"What did you do?" She asked, her eyes brimmed with red.

He looked into her eyes and gripped her shoulders. "I took a chance Abby. And to me, it was the biggest risk I ever took. More than all those times I ran off and nearly got myself killed or fought Voldermort, because I knew that this was a decision I would forever live with. And I know now that it was the best risk I ever took."

Abby leaned on his chest and said, "But mum died. If you hadn't married her you wouldn't have had so much grief."

"But I would have regretted every day that I hadn't spent as much time with her as I could have. Not to mention the fact that if I hadn't married her I wouldn't have the wonderful daughter I have today."

Abby smiled at him in her infamous sarcastic fashion. They were then interrupted by Laurel peeking her head in and saying, "We're about to start."

Harry put out his arm and Abby grabbed on. "I never told you dad, but on that day, ten years ago, when you told me we were going on that big trip, I had been planning to kill myself over the break, just to get away from it all. And then you saved me. So thanks dad."

Harry gripped her arm and whispered, "And you saved me Abby." They then stepped into the doorway of the chapel as the wedding march began to play.


End file.
